Consent can be revoked at any time

What do we call a scene where your partner consents to sexual activity but begins to object whilst in the middle of intercourse and the partner just keeps going? Coercion? assault? violation? rape?

“do you trust me ?” He asked. Her lips said yes knowing her heart was split into two, so she fully opened up herself to him, convincing herself that she told no lie. She knew he could see it in her eyes that her soul and heart wasn’t right, but he uttered no words he carried on with his game. Everything was alright from the start up until he hit that part. She told him to stop or was it just in her head. He moved further in the level with his breath getting shallow, her heart beating faster whilst his score got higher. She swore her lips moved this time, “please stop” she said, or was it just in my head again. She could see his excitement like he was just about to score a goal, but she wasn’t having it, she wasn’t enjoying it, she didn’t want to engage. She pushed him to get his attention, to let him know she did not want to, the way things were going you would think all these efforts were all in her head. She pushed him again, that is when she broke down. That was the time when he realized he hurt her. “I’m sorry” he said.

Did he ask her if she was okay? No. Did she voice it to him that she wants it to stop? Yes.

If during consensual intercourse, one party begins to refuse to continue, asks for things to stop, or acts in such a way that can be identified as non-positive cooperation, then the intercourse must stop. Consent during a sexual act is sometimes less clear than you think, but I do believe that it is an ever changing agreement that has to be constantly re-negotiated. These moments are the ones that lead to the question, “are you sure you were not asking for it?” And now here she is blaming herself for leading him on, for pushing him too far to a point where he had to go rogue, and that is not fair.

VERBAL AND NON-VERBAL CUES MUST NOT BE IGNORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes she was flirting, yes she accepted your invitation to your home. Maybe she did want to have sex. But at some point, she changed her mind or, at the very least, wasn’t sure how she was feeling. It wasn’t enthusiastic consent throughout, and at two different points, she objected, and you ignored that. What does that make you?

The way the rape culture is being portrayed nowadays, with the violent acts, lack of consent, it is when the woman is completely drunk, or between a powerful older man and a much younger woman, this has led to many men being ignorant to the fact that they are actually actively committing assault. The matter of consent is broader than what is actually being taught, it is ever changing and the second or third NO weighs more than the yes I gave you at the beginning. Society’s understanding of consent needs work. It actually goes back to the fact that most men feel entitled to the bodies of the female gender, especially once they are in a relationship with them, and that is just ridiculous.

There are a million ways to say no, and we need to stop ignoring them. We need to revisit “enthusiastic consent” consent itself as an agreement, or acknowledgment of permission. NOT just the yes at the beginning but visibly being psyched about the encounter from start to finish, no doubts or whatsoever. It’s important to remember that just because someone gave consent once, it’s not a “given” for any and all sexual activity going forward.

As broad as this topic may be, that is just my two cents.

Thoughts…

The little things that matter

Its the things we don’t say

the feelings we never admit

the truths we’ll never utter

and the lies we always tell

Its the walls we keep on building

the bridges we keep on burning

the strings we keep on cutting

And the doors we keep on shutting

Its the hate we keep on spreading

the hurt we keep on feeling

the hearts we keep on hurting

Its the souls we keep on losing

Its the promises we keep on breaking

The thoughts we always brewing

the hopes we keep on losing

the signs we always missing

Its the pain we always feeling

The tears we always crying

the moments we always craving

That lead us to thinking we broken

Thoughts…

Reflection

It’s pretty clear that no one filled a form to stay, no wishes were granted, no persons threatened to breathe in the air you breathing this moment and yet here you are speaking words that don’t even matter, but just might be fatal.

Lying and stealing from the weak, finding pleasure from all your sins like it’s your right to live. It’s pretty clear a price was paid, a sacrifice was made, for the many to be saved.

You go about in the dark, trying to hide from God, thinking he has no sight, undermining his might, taking for granted your life that was paid by the unconditional love of the father up above.


You walk around filled with pride, getting angry, hating, lying, telling yourself that this life is all in your hands that “it’s your life” the devil just sits there enjoying the show and God, he sheds a tear waiting for the next “father forgive me I’ve sinned prayer”


Why are you drowning yourself in the earth, looking for the deadly grim reaper, killing yourself inside when God has declared you alive in his great big book of life. He has made your soul his own, Yet you digging it back to the soil, surrendering it to the earth.


The gift of God, the most expensive gift. none worthy of it, no one ever really deserved it, and yet you receive it every day, only out of love, whilst you make it seem like it’s just out of luck.
Why do you prance around feeling a void when the holy spirit fills you whole?

Thoughts…

Passive Negativity

Isn’t it crazy how the most negative people are the same people that actually surround you and watch you plan your life.

Like as much as those people may be giving negative comments about someone who doesn’t know them or probably never will, it still kinda has a more huge effect on you. We don’t have to always address the negativity directed to you but also the passive negativity directed to someone else which comes back to bite you. The whole negativity spectrum has destroyed so many great people in the making. Well people in general.

I find myself being very conscious about the things I would say and do in my everyday life. To the point where just not saying anything or doing anything becomes such a norm. I legit became a cabbage because of how the people I would come across would just pin me back to my place every time I decided to pop up.

You just become a bystander watching your whole life move along whilst sitting on the side lines letting someone else live it for you. If You could You would burst open but You can’t because someone has made it their “one goal” to keep you out, directly or indirectly.

She can’t stand up and talk to a group of people, her voice is “too pitchy” or “too small “ and even if she likes modeling , her “weight is not appropriate how would she even fit in”, okay then here she is let her sing, “I don’t think her voice is unique enough”. Okay then drawing something, “no one will like the design, I most definitely don’t”. Then what ? Sit down and just watch the best be the best! What if That’s the best. Think about it. Just because you don’t like the idea of it, doesn’t mean you should crush it and ruin it for everyone else.

The whole “surround yourself with people who believe in you” motto sounds easy enough right. I do believe that some of these people believe in you just to sit down and cheer them on. They won’t say it no, but they’ll show it when they start demanding it. And once they do trust me it’s clearly seen. Yes sometimes they might actually be a very positive aura in your life but what about the other person’s life.

It’s just a joke”, “don’t take it personal”, “I’m just saying”, “that’s just how I see it”. DON’T SAY IT. I might not get the impact of your joke that very instant but the next time I want to do something similar, boom, “that stupid head you drew is hella ugly” pops up, I quit. Cause the moment you pushed her down you pushed me down.

I’ve never really planned my friends, but I thank God that most of the ones I have are on the right page. I feel like the whole “trust your gut” thing plays a major role. If My gut says girl she ain’t good, we bounce. Saves you a lot of stress.

And you get those people, “don’t listen to what people say unless it’s good” “do you boo”.

They make it so easy, it actually is though. First be genuinely positive to yourself and to the next person, and having a double sided positive energy is gonna help you drive the motto “do you boo”

Thoughts…